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How I avoided postpartum pet aversion
While I was pregnant, a quick scroll through social media would immediately bring up what seemed like hundreds of videos of mums complaining of postpartum pet aversion and negative feelings towards their dogs. Like many of us, I saw my dog as my ‘first baby’ and I was determined not to let this be the case for our family – after all, our dogs don’t choose for us to have a baby.
What is postpartum pet aversion?
Postpartum (after birth) depression, anxiety and rage are well-documented, and include feelings of sadness, anxiety, irritability, restlessness and anger. When you have a pet – often higher-needs dogs – these feelings can lead to postpartum pet aversion, with your dog being the cause of your frustration and irritability.
In fact, a survey in 2024 by insurers ManyPets suggested that 97% of respondents believed their dog’s behaviour had shifted since the baby came home. These changes included increased clinginess, protectiveness and jealousy. As a new parent, when you’re already sleep-deprived and stressed, these behaviours can be the cause of much annoyance.
How I avoided postpartum pet aversion
Having read up on the condition, I wanted to know what I could do to avoid myself developing negative feelings towards our German Shorthaired Pointer. The consensus seemed to be that preparation is key – ensuring your dog is well-trained, desensitised to baby noises and that you have a plan in place to meet their needs to ensure they don’t become destructive.
Our dog, Maple, is a former working dog, so her training was already pretty good in some respects. Other things, such as loose-lead walking, definitely needed work, so I really focused on that while I was pregnant. I played baby crying noises through my phone, and taught her to settle in the baby’s nursery so she learnt that it was a place for quiet.
However, you can prepare all you like but you will never truly know how you feel until the baby arrives, so I was still apprehensive. And of course, once we were navigating our new life with a baby and a dog, there were plenty of hiccups and times when I became frustrated.
Barking at people walking past the house during nap time, bringing mud into the house after a winter’s walk or constantly stealing the baby’s cuddly toys and comforters would all initially make me start to feel cross, but I learnt to deal with it. The baby soon slept through barking, spring came and the mud was no longer a problem, and I bought Maple her own soft toys so she wouldn’t steal the baby’s.
Of course, there were still times when I became frustrated – sleep deprivation makes even the calmest of us irritable – but on the whole we really put the effort in as a family to keep Maple included and meet all her needs, which meant she was happy and relaxed in the home. And there were plenty of ways she kept me sane, too – daily walks were vital to my mental health, and cuddles on the sofa after a sleepless night were just what I needed to get through the day.
Now, I couldn’t wish for a better ‘sister’ for my son. He grins at her every morning when she comes into his room with me to get him up, and she runs upstairs, tail wagging, when it’s time to get him up from his afternoon nap. He belly laughs like nothing else when he throws a ball for her and she brings it back every time, and I’m fairly certain his first word is going to be ‘Maple’…
Every year, there are families giving up their dogs for adoption following childbirth. It’s always sad when people feel rehoming their dog is the only answer, but if you’re feeling overwhelmed, just know that postpartum pet aversion is most likely only temporary. Try to remember all the good times you’ve had with your dog, and know that it’s just as big a change for them as it is for you. And if your dog’s behaviour is proving a lot to deal with, reach out to a vet or a professional trainer or behaviourist.
Read next: How I stopped my dog becoming jealous of my newborn
Edited by Georgia Guerin.
